My Ordeal with Bell’s Palsy..

Just a few days ago, we were having a serious technical discussion when suddenly my boss interrupted and inquired “hey ritesh..is everything fine with your marriage..I remember you had pink and plum cheeks when you got engaged..you have lost a considerable amount of weight now…everything ok”

I was taken aback with such a query amid a technical session and replied.. “Touchwood..everything is fine uptill now..but sorry I didn’t inform at that time, I was on steroids at that time so had gained a lot of weight..”

While coming home..I tried to recall everything that happened around 2 years ago (may be more..when I actually post this blog..) Yes this one is a true story..and I think my experience would help anyone who has got a sudden and strange attack of bell’s palsy...

29^th September, 2008:

After having the dinner, I sensed some sort of palpitation in the left region of my face just above the upper lip. I thought that my facial muscles were a bit tired that day. Never did I realize that next morning there would be a surprise waiting for me.

30^th September, 2008:

I had already planned mine to do list for this day in advance and was on leave from office as my elder sis was advised to have a C section delivery. While brushing I realized that I was not able to brush properly and my left eye was watery. I ignored all this as I had other important things lined up for the day. Around 10:30 am, my sis was blessed with a cute baby boy and everyone around was very happy. I got the baby up in arms and tried to blow a whistle for him..just to find I was not able to blow even a whistle…

While driving home, I sensed some numbness in my face and observed that my lips were drooping on the left side..and the eye had got more watery..at home I found the wrinkles on the left of my forehead were missing..

After dinner I disclosed everything which was happening since morning to my elder sis who happens to be a homeopath..she immediately suggested me to take leave from office and visit a doctor for facial palsy the very next day…

1^st October, 2008:

I took an appointment with an ENT specialist, thinking that the problem was due to cold or something..

After examination, the doctor told that I was suffering from Bell’s Palsy..the treatment would consist some steroids and a multivitamin dose for next 2-3 weeks..

I came back and surfed internet about bell’s palsy and found that a lot of people had shared their experiences and a few unfortunate ones never recovered even after a treatment of six months.

In the evening, I managed to call up my girlfriend (now my wife :-) ) and disclosed the problem to her and also told that it may be possible that I never recover from it. She simply told… “come what may..I still see my future with you..” well, I was really moved to hear it from her. Amid all this, our families were planning to get us engaged soon.

2^nd October, 2008:

The condition was really getting worse; my left eye was simply not blinking and was turning red probably due to dehydration. Anyway, since I had to join office next day, I bought an anti glare for my self.

3^rd October, 2008:

I joined office, and to my surprise, no one in my office noticed my drooping left face, rather everyone was wondering that I have got spectacles.

4^th October, 2008:

Since the condition was not seemingly getting any better, my sister advised me to visit Dr Aruna Sharma(A panch karma specialist), in patel nagar. Dr Aruna was already treating a few cases of bell’s palsy and paralysis at that time.

From day one, she started my treatment at her clinic. I was given mild current therapy for 10 minutes(it would feel as if a lots of ants were walking all over my head down to face) and a facial ayurvedic oil massage which was in turn followed by infra red treatment for 20 minutes. Sometimes, I was made to inhale medicated steam as well.

This treatment was really effective as on day one itself, I could feel that my left eye has started blinking…well not completely. I was advised not to go in open air after the treatment. Dr Aruna also gave me a large white towel to cover my face as I had to travel back home on metro which fortunately or unfortunately is AC coach. At the patel nagar metro station, security personal were looking at me with suspicion, I had to explain that I was undergoing a treatment for my face.

For the next two weeks, I would drop at Subhash Nagar metro station from office cab in the evening and take a metro for patel nagar. I got familiar with the security staff during first few days. The journey towards patel nagar used to be normal but while returning back, people would give me frosty looks..imagine a formally dressed male carrying a laptop bag and covering his face with a towel in the metro :-)

Well, the panch karma treatment was helpful to an extent that my eye had got better, but I still could not make a balloon of my mouth or even blow a whistle.

The ENT treatment was futile in my case. I also started taking homeopathic medicine as advised by my sister.

Dr Aruna advised me to consult a neurosurgeon for allopathic treatment as it could speed up recovery. I took an appointment from Dr. H.N Aggarwal at Sir Ganga Ram hospital. At first, he was reluctant to meet at SRGH..don’t know why..probably he had a really busy schedule. Anyway, I managed to reach SRGH as per his convenient time. He examined me for bell’s palsy and advised a treatment of steroids and multi vitamins.

He also told me to meet him at his Greater Kailash clinic after 2 hrs! Grrrrrr….why?

He wanted me to undergo some test which could be done at his clinic only :-( I was really taken aback..man…why did he gave me time to visit SRGH when I already had explained my history. Ahh..god forbid business minded doctors..Anyway, while returning home, I decided not to visit him again.

19^th October, 2008:

My family had been really supportive during all these days, meanwhile my engagement date had also been finalized by now. My would be in-laws invited me for shopping at Karol Bagh. After shopping, we went for lunch at some local restaurant. Now, the most embarrassing moment, the cold drinks which we ordered, were served with a straw. Like everyone around I was also supposed to use a straw..I tried once, twice, but failed..when you can’t blow out a whistle..you probably can’t drink with a straw..

I suddenly noticed that my would be fiancée..was silently observing it and was probably feeling more embarrassed than me in front of her family. In the evening when I called her up, I just wanted to know weather she would like the relation to continue or not..hmm..difficult time..and as usual..she replied.. “At this point of time in our relation I don’t think that your face value counts..Ritesh”..

At that point of time, I really regretted my decision not to go for allopathic treatment at SRGH.

20^th October, 2008:

My elder sister arranged an appointment with Dr Sanjay Gupta, a neurosurgeon at Jaipur Golden Hospital. Dr Sanjay didn’t advise me to undergo any test, instead clearly told me that he would start an “aggressive” treatment with some “gluco” steroids and multivitamins and a few antibiotics. By aggressive, he meant that the treatment would continue for at least a month and I may notice some swelling on my face within a week itself, which according to him would be good… “Tu vaise he itna kamjor lagta hai..thoda mota lagega to achaa he hai na..” he joked. He also advised some facial exercises.

During the first week of treatment itself, I was able to partially blow out a whistle for my nephew!

I still remember following those facial exercises in the washroom (had I tried them at my desk in office, I don’t know in what sense, my colleagues would have taken it). I made it a point to visit washroom every 2-3 hours to follow those exercises in office.

25^th November, 2008:

Dr Sanjay Gupta, after having me undergone for CT scans of brain, congratulated and declared me free of bell’s palsy.

Through this blog, I wish to thank my sisters (they were really proactive during my treatment, from arranging appointments with doctors, accompanying me to test labs), my parents (for being fully supportive), Dr Aruna Sharma and Dr Sanjay Gupta and last but not the least my girlfriend who now happens to be my companion for life.

If you happen to visit this blog after an attack of bell’s palsy, don’t panic. And believe me, its really curable. I have come across three more cases after my treatment and all of them have fully recovered.

I would advise you to not to delay your treatment, the earlier, the better, visit a neurosurgeon and if possible go for an ayurvedic panch karma treatment as well.

For some personal reasons, I have disabled comments in my blog, if you want to share something related or would like to get more information regarding my treatment, do feel free to drop me an email at ritesh_iic@yahoo.co.in

Educated?? Ok, how about moral responsibility?

Is education related to moral responsibility in any way? Since my childhood, I used to assume that they are directly proportional. Here are some of the events over the last few years which have made me revisit those concepts...

September 11th, 2003: It was a usual hot Thursday morning for me. I had to rush for my classes at IIC and as usual I was getting late. Man, if I could catch route number 629, which would drop me in the campus, I could make up for the delay in the morning. In such a state of mind I was barely running.
Suddenly, I saw a lady carrying a child trying to come in my way and stop me. I realized that it was a beggar and tried to escape from the scene. (Did I mention, that I didn’t have any loose change in my pocket..) She again said. “aie beta ruk zara..”
I said in a hurry.. “maai chutta nahi hai..” by this time, I had already passed by her.
“ley mai to bus pata puch rahi hun…je mai padi likhi hoti to aise karti bhala..”
I felt as if someone had slapped me really hard in face. How mean I could be. She was just seeking help for an address and I mistook her for a beggar from her appearance alone.
Anyway, I stopped and helped her with the address.

October 20th, 2004: I was going to appear for an interview. It had rained on a day before so weather was pleasant. Behind my seat in the bus, two men in their early thirties were discussing their problems. One of them appeared to be a peanut vendor. He was telling “ye baarish ki wajah se mera 70 rupye ka maal barbaad ho gaya..ghar par paisa bhi bhejna hai..bhagwaan bhi hum gareebo pe taras nahi khata”
I silently appreciated his sense of responsibility for his family. Though he was not at all educated but his moral values seemed to be strong.

5th March, 2008: I was returning home in an office cab. Since a new budget was around, we people in the cab were discussing tax deduction, pan etc. While I was left alone with the driver he requested “sir aap kuch PAN k baare me baat kar rahe thay..mujhe bhi pan card banvana hai”
“aapko bhi tax jama karna hai kya” I asked him.
“nahi sir mai to 6 hazar mahina kamata hun..tax nahi bharna mujhe” he replied back.
Then why on this earth you need a PAN card I was wondering…
He again added “sir, meri beti hui hai pichle mahine..usko school me bharti karna hoga tab mujhe zarurat padegi..pehcan karne k liye”
“Mujh se paise ley lijiye sir..jitna lage..but card banva dijiye mera bhi..mai to anpadh hun..bachhi ko khoob padhana chahta hun..aapki tarah”

Once again: No education but a strong sense of responsibility.

I was really moved by those words, the very next day we people arranged a PAN form for him and got it submitted.

10th March, 2008:
I came to know about a condescending scientist who expects his wife to bear all of his expenses along with tax savings in his name!
This guy just wants to spend his own earnings to enjoy his own lifestyle. Unfortunately, he happens to be a close relative of mine.
On a lighter note, I suggested his wife to apply for a TAN and deduct direct 30% on the money which he was demanding as savings per month.

Conclusion: Highly educated, but no sense of responsibility.

I am not a social scientist but when you come across such an experience, you are bound to give it thought. So I talked about it with a friend of mine who just happens to be in education system and has a good understanding of psychology.
She told, look Ritesh “Education can be earned but moral values and responsibility are more often inherited from the environment in which you have been born and brought up, more or less the parents of a child are responsible for his social upbringing.”
Yeah..these are words of wisdom dear!
I smiled and eased of the tension.
For I know, such people are always a failure be it in personal relationships or even professionally.

PS: The dates mentioned in the events above are not indicative. Why I remember them is a story for another day.

I still remember..my tribute to my ex colleagues in Conexant

This one is my last official mail to my colleagues in Conexant...I am proud to be an ex conexanite..
I am copying the full version here..only my cell number has been deleted..obviously for the privacy reasons :)

FW: I still remember..

Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:38 PM

From:

"Gaurav Chowdhary"

View contact details

To:

ritesh_iic@yahoo.co.in

Hi All,

Forwarding on behalf of Ritesh the PPP MAN :)

Regards,

Gaurav.

-----Original Message-----
From: ritesh ralhan [mailto:ritesh_iic@yahoo.co.in]
Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:12 PM
To: Gaurav Chowdhary
Subject: I still remember..

--------------------------------

My dear colleagues,

Probably the longest last mail for my long lasting friends and colleagues...

Writing it from Gaurav’s Account as my BBNET passwords have already been “proactively” disabled : -)

This mail is specifically for your leisure time :-)..if you are very busy, you can jump right away to the last paragraph!

August 29th, 2007, today, is an important day in my life, as important as January 5th, 2005, the day I officially became a part of Conexant family.

A few things to forget/regret and many to remember, that is what my heart holds at the moment...

I still remember my technical interviews and being grilled in the sessions by Sabina and Shalini.

I would never be able to forget the moment I got the job offer from Harpreet Singh Anand and what he told me. I still remember the feelings. I felt like flying, crying, jumping up and down, and simply diving front and back. That was the day my software dream got realized. Like most of you, joining Conexant was a dream come true for me, as it was going to be my first MNC job, I was working with a small startup company

before Conexant.

I still remember what I was when I landed in Conexant. I used to look like a starved person at just 45kgs!, most of the times unshaven face, a larger than life inferiority complex. From there... life has turned around 180 degrees…gaining around 15kgs..getting my first second H& car :-). I had never thought that this would ever happen in my life. Looking back, everything appears like a dream. I still

remember the relationships (!?... BTW: there was certainly no office flirting) that helped me overcome this complex.

I still remember when Shalini introduced me to Rajan Srivastava , my first manager at Conexant and it was under his expert guidance, that I started working on L2 protocols in ISOS(remember ppp in isos??). If I know anything about PPP, Rajan deserves a full credit to that. From fixing a few silly bugs in ISOS ppp, Rajan prepared me to take full ownership of ISOS ppp and rfc1483 modules.

I still remember becoming part of Conexant’s first rotational customer support team for ISOS in Noida. At first, I was not very keen to join that team but after a few interactions with Amit Nandy , I developed interest in solving customer defects. Needless to say, Amit always helped me, be it technically or in tackling an FAE in a conference call from Korea/China…

I still remember becoming a part of Odyssey SoftDp team.. and reporting to Sachin jain. He would never assume anyting before exploring a problem from all the angles.. that’s what makes him technically outstanding.

I think it was best phase for my learning at Conexant. Sachin rightaway pointed towards my short comings in addition to some positive feedbacks.. and I tried my best to overcome them during my stint with him..unfortunately the project was put on hold but I still feel, it was a great technical learning curve in my life.

I still remember reporting to Ashish Tara for Odyssey VMI hookup. To say anything, about Ashish would be like showing a lamp to Sun. The way he used to suggest technical solutions, was a good learning experience for me.Needless to mention, Sachin was always there to help me out during this project as well.

Apart from above, I used to interact with Anubhav Srivastav and Atul Vadera whenever I was lost in IT defects and I was really impressed with Anubhav’s soft skills amid his technical suggestions.

I used to think that “all ppp defects in odyssey IT were due to nwlib module”. Atul used to prove..that I was wrong most of the times :-) ..from then onwards I made it a point to consult him for all of my future projects in Conexant.

I still remember a few late night stays with Vandeep,Sachin and Deepti for solving Odyssey IT defects. Whenever these three were around..I never felt that I was solving a defect..these people have tremendously good sense of humor..which used to keep my moral high always..I know that they would be laughing at it..even while reading it..

I still remember, reporting to Manish Rajpal for odyssey phase two..I would describe him as a supercool manager..along with being technically sound..I wish I could work with him for some more time..but anyway that’s destiny.

I still remember being a part of janak puri cab..(it really rocks).. getting up early in morning..catching my cab..giving missed call(s) to Amit Sahrawat..and occasionally to Kapila and Pooja.

sometimes cursing tm-helpdesk guys..for cab delays..etc..

I would definitely be missing my friends..Ash Gupta, Rajneesh Mishra , Pankaj Chauhan, Atul Gupta , Sarath and Gaurav Chowdhary during lunch hours/tea sessions..I used to have a lot of fun with them.

Apart from the professional respect, I would always be grateful for the loads of love and affection you showed.

I still remember the last few nights before resigning, trying to come to terms with it and not being able to control the emotions.I still remember what Dileep said when he accepted my resignation, "anytime, if you decide to come back, you are always welcome." He has given me an opportunity to tell you all what I have in my mind. Professionally all I have, has been taken from here. I am going to utilize it for my benefits in the coming days. I would be extremely happy if I get another opportunity to use them in the place which grew me.

I still remember the childhood poem of Robert Frost, which means a lot more than ever before:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And

miles to go before I sleep. "

No mail/scrap will go unanswered at ritesh_iic@yahoo.co.in (for YM and Orkut) and all

calls will be attended to with immense pleasure.

I am more than happy to use this opportunity to thank all my colleagues, ex-colleagues, the management and the organization for the support and cooperation.

Special Thanks to Gaurav for allowing me to send this mail from his account. He is now the owner of all my modules..along with bugs and defects :)..so herez wishing him all the very best!!

With loads of emotions and fulfillment,

Ritesh Ralhan

ritesh_iic@yahoo.co.in (YM & Orkut)

http://www.linkedin.com/in/riteshralhan

Of Packages mine, yours and everyone else..

Thanks to all those who visited my blog and special thanks to the ones who were generous enough to leave a comment behind..
A friend of mine has given a suggestion for a technical blog, I have started working upon it and hope to post it sometime in near future.
For now, lemme come to the point..
Yet another budget is around the corner and everyone seems to be in a hurry to plan the savings/investments, some friends are even planning to switch the jobs in new financial year for better..
The moment a person lands up in a new job, a common question is thrown upon him:
“Hey dude, whatz your package?”
A few people are careful enough to ask about the work environment in the company along with the main question :-)
Friends inquire:
“How much hike did u get, mate?”
The relatives, about whom you haven’t heard from years, suddenly visit you and again the words take up the form:
“How much are you able to make up per month? I guess it should be close to 15-20K, right?”
When I got my first job, unfortunately, it paid me close to 5K only, so I used to give a frosty nose to such questions at that time..
But people can be harsh enough when they want to poke their nose into something…
“Ohh common, Mr. So n So’s son works in your domain and he is earning this much”
“Aaj kal MNC wale itna toh dey he dete hain..”
Since, a normal sane guy would never like to discuss his earnings, I normally respond to such questions with a smile :-) and try to change the topic..
I sometimes wonder why people are so curious to know about what everyone else is earning.
Do they plan their budget with this information?
To me, only four classes of people need to know about my package:
1.) My parents: They should know what I am/am not capable of.
2.) My spouse and her parents: They should know weather I can take care of my finances.
3.) The Finance executives in my company: They have to obviously deduct taxes from my salary.
4.) Close friends who work in my domain: They might need to negotiate with HR people while switching the job.
Morale of the story: If you happen to fall in any of the above classes, you already have the required information about me..
For everyone else there should be an access violation API kind of thing like we do have in systems engineering :-)

The Great Indian Wedding..

The other day I was going through an article in the news paper about the fat weddings fad in the NCR..with average wedding cost going over 7-8 Lakhs..
“The set up for the wedding pandal and other arrangements could easily cost over 20Lakh for a not so posh wedding..n it could shoot up to 50Lakh as well..”. Hey mom..thats definitely n times my annual salary package…i told my mom laughing…

My uncle who was listening all this, replied smiling “beta..dhoom dhaam se shaadi ho to duniya bhi yaad rakhti hai”.. “okie, agreed in a sense” I smiled back..
I ignored what my uncle said but over the time this thought turned out to be quite bitter..is it like ppl have really started earning so much or its merely a showoff thing..

Again I have bollywood to blame, they never show a simple wedding. Having costly set ups is perhaps an obligation for them..and Indian public is foolish enough to follow them suit :)
Does all this pomp and show help a couple in having a better understanding? With over 50% of Indian marriages ending up in divorce..i don’t think that it’s a good idea to go for a posh wedding..
I still remember..while sitting idle in wedding negotiations for my cousin sister, her would be MIL instructed.. “bhai sahib humare parivar aur bete k friend circle me sabhi highly educated aur class 1 ufcer hain...zara khane pine k arrangement pe special dhyan dijiyega”
My cousin brother took me aside and whispered “hmm..budiya ground bana rahi hai..achee len den ka” ..i said to myself.. “hey, when did a highly educated circle started going only to a posh wedding?”
After that the negotiations started and everything was being jotted down..typical filmy ishtyle.. “dekhiye hume apne liye to kuch nahi chahiye..bhagwan ka diya sab hai..” the girl would need this, that and so on….
A few months back..a very good friend of mine who happens to work in a call center met me to invite me for her wedding..
“So, you would continue in this job after marriage?” I asked her..
“Yeah, my in laws don’t have any objections” she said with gleam in her eyes...
“Hey, this job would be really tiring for you..isn’t it?” I questioned again..
“Hum chahte hain..ki ladki shadi k baad khali nahi baithe, ghar ka kaam to itna hai nahi..job karegi to char paise bhi bacha legi apne liye” is what she told about her in law’s views..
Just four my months after her wedding we met again..and this time she was looking a bit dull..no signs of that “bridal blissful look”..
“Is everything fine with you?, howz your married life going dear?” I questioned..
“My life is going okie..but in laws really suck..they are greedy types..”
“What happened” I said..
“See, I do all the household stuff..along with my job..but still my in laws crib over small things”
“They expected some more money in the wedding?” I inquired again..
“pata nahi yaar..i too thought like this..and started handing over all my salary to my MIL but still they are not very happy with me..i think its all destiny, achaa sasuraal bahut kismet waliyon ko milta hai..tu apna bata na..kaisa hai..howz ur new job..” she tried changing the topic..
All I could do was..to offer a few words of sympathy towards my friend..

Omg..her wedding was really a posh one..i still remember her saying.. “mai apna bhi kafi paisa laga rahi hun shadi me..along with my parents..shaadi kafi dhoom dhaam se hai”

Not even her or her parents would have imagined about the after effects of the wedding…
“Is the groom responsible in such matters?..i question myself”
Yeah..more than 100%..i think..
Anyway..had it been in my hands I would teach all such people some good lessons of being in a responsible society..
Can’t change the society in a night though….

For now, I can assure myself… “Whenever I get married..it should be simple one..no pomp and show business for me”
And yes, “ I would make sure that my bride settles happily in her new home” ;)
Any listeners?? :-)